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Monday, September 28, 2015

Home for good

I will be arriving Kuala Lumpur in next few days.

I was so busy with travelling. Approximately one month and a half. Travelled with friends, travelled with family and again, with other friends. Despite draining of energy, I feel accomplished. I don't have a clear definition of accomplishment but I guess at this age, I just graduated with my Master in Architecture which was tough and brain-wracking. Gave my best to study (after few piles of air mata, haaahaa), gave my best to seeing the world in travelling which I like the most when studying here. That, is now enough. I am ready for the next phase to come, in career or settling down with a partner *which is so unlikely.haha.. that one, is as blurry as current haze in Malaysia*

At this moment, I just don't know how to feel. Am I making the right decision to leave England when Malaysia itself is not that promising? will I ever come back to England? I am well aware I will miss England as most of my friends who studied here do. But what best to do now is to redha, tawakal and move on. Who knows what lies ahead. Might be good and better for me?

Haven't I made my istikharah continuously whether to stay or to leave? Don't I feel numb if I stay when all my love ones are in Malaysia? Maybe I wouldn't bother that much if my family members are here. 

Today is 28th of September. I just came back from London to Birmingham last night after an all-girl Europe trip with my sister and school friends for nearly 2 weeks. I rarely update my instagram or facebook anymore. I find that focusing with real life feels more meaningful and REAL.

Here I am sitting on my bed feeling so lazy to pack up my stuff. And I only have tomorrow the whole day to buy whatever left to be bought for family and friends. I am restless. I can imagine me being cranky if I were a kid. 

But oh well, let's start before I roll on my bed and kicking all pillows off the bed. 

Sharing a picture of my graduation last 4th of September.